Becoming a mom will always bring change. The confusing part is figuring out what you want to keep.
There is so much conversation about “finding yourself again” after having a baby, and I’ve never totally loved that phrase.
Because honestly, I think the idea of going back takes away all the growth that happens as you’re making your way through each new stage of motherhood.
It’s a confusing one, because I don’t necessarily want the exact version of me from before motherhood but I do find myself unsteady all the time and wondering if going toward what I know most is best. The old me is still here in so many ways, but she’s also been stretched, softened, challenged, humbled, and asked to look at parts of herself she probably could have ignored for a lot longer otherwise.
I think there’s a middle space between who you were and who you’re becoming that we can talk more about. It’s so valid to feel like you’re looking at life in a completely new way now, because, well, you are! It’s also okay to not totally feel like yourself along the way of figuring it all out.
This is where we slow down, take a moment, and truly reflect on: “Who am I now? Who do I want to be now? What feels most like me?“
Recognizing yourself inside this new role of mama
I’m still figuring this part out too.
Motherhood has made me look at parts of my identity I thought I understood pretty well; the ambition to do more, finding myself in my career, grappling with independence being all I knew, growing my marriage, relating to my body, and figuring out how I actually want spend my time and energy. I realized some of them don’t fit quite the same anymore. I’ve found myself:
- Missing the freedom I used to have while knowing I wouldn’t trade this version of my life to get it back.
- Wanting to be completely present with my baby and still feeling a pull toward my work, ideas, and the things that make me feel like I’m taking good care of myself.
- Questioning what success looks like now that time feels more valuable than it ever did before, and the world is more and more expensive by the day.
- Feeling guilty for wanting time alone and then remembering that I was a person who loved alone time long before I gave birth.
- Looking at friendships and routines differently because some of what used to feel important suddenly doesn’t, and the little coffee dates suddenly became a lifeline.
- Wondering how to make decisions for myself when every choice now seems connected to another person, (even though I kind of love that level of responsibility)
- Feeling confident once something I’ve been obsessing over finally feels like we’ve found a rhythm, and then it’s like the universe laughs and throws me a curveball.
- Trying to live in the moment, but being so excited about all the things coming up.
I think that’s what makes this transition so emotional. We’re learning to care for our babies, but somehow also reconnect with yourself in a version of life that suddenly asks for different things from you. And even as you adjust, there will be a new shift ahead to continue growing alongside. It’s actually really empowering, when you can tune into trusting yourself and everything that’s brought you here to carry you now.
What you’ll Find Here
And honestly, if part of you wants pieces of your old self back, I get that too.
This is where we can look at what you’re really missing, what still matters to you, what feels different now, and what you want to bring forward into this version of your life — without making yourself feel guilty for wanting more than one thing at once.
Self Trust in Motherhood
Your Sense of Self
The Life You’re Building
For the decisions you second-guess, the advice coming from every direction, the fear of getting it wrong, and learning how to hear your own voice underneath everyone else’s.
For identity shifts, confidence, body image, ambition, creativity, independence, and figuring out which parts of yourself need more room in this chapter.
For changing priorities, relationships, routines, work, boundaries, and the bigger questions about what you want your life to feel like now.
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You don’t have to become less of yourself to become more of a mom
I think one of the strangest parts of motherhood is how quickly you can go from feeling like you know yourself pretty well to questioning everything; your choices, instincts, priorities, and even what you want next.
What I hope you find here is space to sort through that without rushing yourself into an answer. A true space to notice what feels true, what feels like pressure, what you’re ready to reclaim, and what might be changing for good.
I don’t see the goal as becoming some perfectly evolved version of yourself on the other side of motherhood or hitting some euphoric state of balance that truthfully I don’t think always exists. I think it’s more about feeling at home in your own life again, like you can make decisions without questioning yourself as much, and be confident in who you’re raising, the life you’re living, and the woman who’s doing it all.